Simon Cowell’s Fiancée Lauren Silverman Opens up About Getting Pregnant While During Their Affair

Lauren Silverman opened up about the affair that ended her marriage to Andrew Silverman while she was pregnant with Simon Cowell's son. The 48-year-old said it was "one of the hardest times" of her life, though she stands by the path it led her down.

Lauren Silverman is speaking candidly about the affair that ended her first marriage and set her on the path to becoming Simon Cowell's fiancée — and she has no plans to sugarcoat it.

Lauren met Simon in 2004, a year after marrying Andrew Silverman. What began as a friendship gradually evolved into a romance while she was still wed to Andrew, and the resulting scandal would soon play out on a very public stage.

During that time, the socialite fell pregnant with her and Simon's son, Eric, now 12, who was born in 2014. Lauren and Andrew had divorced the year prior — the same year she and Simon went public with their relationship. She also shares 19-year-old Adam with her ex-husband.

More than a decade later, Lauren has opened up about the complicated emotions she faced while carrying Eric.

"It was the end of my marriage, obviously," she said during a recent appearance on the "Happy Mum" podcast. "Looking back on that time, it was one of the hardest times of my life."

She was quick to clarify, however, that regret isn't quite the right word.

"I don't want to say regretful because I don't regret anything," she continued. "Everything happens in your life for a reason. I'm a firm believer in that. Do I wish it had happened a different way and that I could go back and change certain things? Of course I do."

When she discovered she was expecting, Lauren said the news crystallized something for her — she was ready to fully commit to Simon.

"I knew it was right and I knew that that was what I wanted. I knew that Simon was the person that I wanted to spend my life with," she shared. "However we got there and however it happened, I just believe that it was meant to be."

Still, the 48-year-old was candid about the guilt that came with that certainty.

"As much as I wish I could go back and take away the hurt and take away the pain that that caused for my ex-husband and for Adam and for my family and for various people, it happened," she said. "The emotions were intense and they were wide-ranging."

Lauren admitted she couldn't fully lean into the joy of a new pregnancy as she shuttled between New York City — where Andrew and Adam lived — and London.

The public scrutiny triggered what she described as "fight-or-flight" mode, and her priority became shielding Adam from the noise. "It was hard because the circumstances were so outrageously difficult," she said.

Living on Manhattan's Upper East Side at the height of the storm, she felt exposed at every turn.

"I felt like I was walking around with a scarlet letter everywhere I went because New York, even though it's a big city, it's really small," she reflected. "It was just the way that people would look at me. I was on the cover of every magazine."

Notably, Lauren stopped short of blaming the public for its reaction.

"I have nothing to complain about. I was the one who caused it," she said plainly. "For me, I felt like, 'OK, this has happened. I'm a big girl. I've got to suck it up and I've got to just get on with it. Whatever's coming at me, I deserve it. I'll take it and I'll just keep my head down.'"

In the years since, she says she has done the inner work to arrive at a place of peace. "So now I feel like whatever I put out there and whatever people are saying or thinking, it's too bad. I don't really care anymore."