Our Message History Stopped Me From Making the Biggest Mistake of My Life

When I went back through my old messages with Peter, the boy I thought I would spend my life with, I saw a pattern I had been too blind to acknowledge. And after what I heard on my balcony after game night, I knew I couldn’t marry him.

Monday, May 12, 2010

I was walking down the hall to my next class when I texted Peter, who was at football practice. It was the beginning of our relationship, back when we were just silly high schoolers, young and innocent.

"OMG, Mr. Henderson saw us holding hands in the library! I'm so embarrassed!"

"Relax, it's cute. He probably wishes he had someone like you."

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

I was sitting at the kitchen table, trying to do my homework, but I couldn't concentrate. Peter was at football practice again, and he had a big game the next day. I was more nervous than he was.

"I'm so nervous about the big game tomorrow! You're playing, right? Gotta impress your girl ;)"

"I'll send you a kiss from the goal line."

Friday, November 4, 2011

I was in my room, getting ready to go to the game. Peter was already in the locker room.

"Good luck tonight! I'll be in the stands cheering you on with Fernanda!"

"Thanks! Hey, can you ask Fernanda if she can save me a seat next to her? She's got the best view."

I hesitated.

"Sure, no problem! Why Fernanda specifically?"

"Oh, just easier to find her in the crowd. She's so tall. You're so tiny, I might lose you."

It was a harmless excuse. But it stuck with me.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

I was at my desk, surrounded by history books and notes. Peter was at home, probably relaxing after school.

"Ugh, this history test is going to be the death of me! How are you so good at this stuff?"

"It's easy! Fernanda helped me study. She's like a walking encyclopedia. You should ask her for help sometime."

Another mention. Another tiny sting.

Saturday, February 18, 2012

I was in my room, trying on different outfits for a party. I felt insecure, and I wanted Peter’s reassurance. He was already at Fernanda’s house, probably having a good time.

"Do you think this dress is okay? I feel kind of... blah in it."

"It’ll be fine. Fernanda’s wearing something similar, but red. Red really suits her."

I turned back to the mirror, but suddenly, my reflection didn’t feel like enough.

Sunday, August 24, 2014

I was sitting on my bed in my dorm room, feeling lonely. Peter was three hours away at a different college, and I missed him terribly. It was the start of a long four years, with many weekends spent apart.

"I miss you so much! College is amazing, but it’s not the same without you. What are you up to?"

"I miss you too. Busy with classes and stuff. It’s tough. Crazy schedule. Guess who’s in my history class? Fernanda! Small world, huh?"

"No way! That's awesome. You guys should totally study together."

I encouraged their friendship and tried to be cool, but I didn't feel like that... on the inside.

Thursday, February 19, 2015

I was scrolling through Instagram, feeling left out. Peter was at a party at his college, and Fernanda was there too, of course.

"Saw you at that party last night on Instagram! Looks like it was a blast. Wish I was there."

"Yeah, it was. Ran into a bunch of people. Fernanda was there too."

"Cool! Did you guys hang out much?"

"A little. She’s really easy to talk to. You know, you guys should hang out more. You could learn a lot from her."

That phrase again. It stung a little. What did he mean, "learn a lot from her?"

Saturday, April 2, 2016

I was packing my bag for a weekend trip home. I was excited to see Peter, but he didn’t seem as enthusiastic. He was probably busy with his friends at his college.

"I'm coming home for the weekend! Can't wait to see you!"

"Great! Looking forward to it. We should all hang out, me, you, Fernanda, and Mark."

I hesitated.

"That sounds fun! But I was kinda hoping it would just be you and me. Haven't seen you in ages!"

"Oh, right. Sure, we can do that too."

He always suggested hanging out with her. It was never just us.

Monday, November 27, 2017

I was in the library, working on a paper. I was proud of myself for finally getting an A in history, but Peter’s response was deflating. He was at his college, probably hanging out with Fernanda.

"I got an A on my history paper! Finally!"

"That's great! Fernanda helped me with mine. She's so smart. I wish you were more interested in that kind of stuff."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing. Just that... you know... Fernanda's got her whole life planned out. She's going to law school, she's got ambitions. You haven't even decided on a major yet."

"I'm still figuring things out! And there’s more to life than just career ambitions."

Silence. No response.

Saturday, October 13, 2018

Peter and I had just moved into our first apartment together. That night, we threw a housewarming party.

"Hey, can you grab the wine glasses from the kitchen?"

"Sure! Oh, by the way, Fernanda brought a bottle of that red you like. Thoughtful, right?"

I looked over. Fernanda was on our couch, laughing with Mark. She looked at home. Too at home.

Saturday, April 6, 2019

We had our friends over for drinks again. Someone made a joke about married couples losing their spark. Mark said Peter and I were basically married already, but Fernanda scoffed and said he wasn't "the type of settle down." When everyone left, I texted him from the other room.

"Do you actually see us getting married someday?"

"Of course. Why would you ask that?"

"Just wondering."

I wasn’t just wondering.

Saturday, June 6, 2020

We were having dinner at that fancy restaurant we both loved. Peter had just proposed, and I was on cloud nine.

"OMG! Yes! Yes! A thousand times yes! That was the best proposal ever! Can't wait to marry you!"

"Me neither. You've made me so happy."

"I’m so excited to start planning the wedding! Just you and me, making all the decisions together."

"Yeah, me too. Although, we should definitely get together with Fernanda and Mark soon to celebrate."

Even at this moment, it was never just us.

Tuesday, June 9, 2020

I was at my desk, daydreaming about wedding dresses. Peter was at his desk too, probably working.

"Hey, I was thinking we could go dress shopping next weekend. Just you, me, and my mom?"

"Sounds good. Wait is the groom supposed to do that? Better take Fernanda. She mentioned wanting to help pick out dresses."

"Oh. Okay, sure."

Friday, July 17, 2020

I was curled up on the couch, scrolling through old pictures on my phone. Something about Peter’s relationship with Fernanda had always bothered me. He was at work, and I was home alone with my thoughts.

"Hey, remember that weekend I came home from college and you suggested we all hang out with Fernanda and Mark? It seemed like you and Fernanda were getting along really well."

"Yeah, vaguely. What about it?"

"Just thinking about how much fun you two always seemed to have. You always seemed to click so easily."

"We were friends, Helena. What are you trying to say?"

"Nothing. Just reminiscing."

Saturday, August 8, 2020

I was tidying up the apartment, getting ready for game night. Peter was at the grocery store, picking up snacks.

"Game night tonight! Looking forward to it!"

"Yeah, should be fun. Fernanda's bringing that new board game she was telling me about."

Of course, she was.

Sunday, August 9, 2020

I was lying in bed, unable to sleep. Peter was at his parents' house for the night because they'd asked him to help with some repairs, and it'd gotten late.

It was time.

"Last night... I don't know... it just felt weird. You and Fernanda were so close, whispering, laughing about things I didn't even understand. I felt like I wasn't even there. And then, after everyone left... on the balcony..."

"Don't be silly. We were just having fun. You're imagining things."

"I heard you, Peter. I heard you tell her you loved her."

"You... you were listening? That's not what it sounded like. I was just... talking about how much I appreciated her friendship."

"You said you loved her, Peter. And you held her hand. I saw that too when I came out."

"Look, it was late, we'd had a few drinks... It didn't mean anything."

"It meant something to me. It makes sense now. All those times you dismissed my feelings, all those times you prioritized her, all those times I felt like I was competing for your attention... it all makes sense. All those times in high school, in college... it's always been Fernanda. You always compared me to her, always wished I was more like her."

"Helena, please, don't do this. I love you. I want to marry you."

"Do you, Peter? Or do you love the idea of me? The safe choice? The one who's always been there? Because you've never really been there for me. Not the way I needed you to be."

"That's not fair. I have been there. I've always been there."

"Have you? Or were you always just there... physically present, but emotionally distant. Remember how you used to say how easy it was to talk to her? And how you wished I was more like her?"

"I... I don't remember saying that."

"I remember. It's been a pattern, Peter. And last night confirmed it. You love her. You've probably always loved her."

Monday, August 10, 2020

I woke up with a heavy heart, but also with clarity. Peter was already at work, so I picked up my phone.

"I went back through our message history, Peter. And I’ve realized you’re not the person I want to marry. I deserve someone who loves me completely, honestly. Someone who doesn’t compare me to anyone else. I’m calling off the wedding."

"Helena, please..."

But I was done listening.

Thursday, December 1, 2022

I sat in my new apartment, in a new city, scrolling through old pictures. I took a deep breath, opened Instagram, and posted a simple message on my stories:

"I'm happy now."

And I truly was.

Here's another story: I always thought Isabella and I were best friends, but I was wrong. It took a conversation with my boss to reveal the truth – a truth that shattered our years of friendship and changed my life forever.

This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.

The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided "as is," and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.